starry cave
“So note this sense of wanting to become something other than what you are right now. ”
I often grapple with feeling lost in the daily grind. When I find myself in a routine dominated by a commitment to work and, more recently, to caring for two young children, at times I feel myself drowning in a sense of wanting something more. Or perhaps wanting something different, like I’m missing out on something. But if I’m being completely honest with myself, I’ve grappled with this feeling throughout my life, at different times, as it washes in like waves, surfacing from time to time… Even before having children, even when I’m without a regular work commitment.
“We just get whirled about by life – just running around in states of fear and desire. And even when we get everything we want, we will think there is something missing, something incomplete yet. So even when life is at its best, there is still this sense of suffering – something yet to be done, some kind of doubt or fear haunting us.”
I wrote this song when I was struggling with this feeling of being stuck in the daily grind. I was feeling bored with myself, wanting to somehow break free of my routine, and yearning for a creative outlet. The song is a message to myself, to not be waiting for life to change for me, but instead to make the changes I need – even if this means accepting my circumstances and reframing them, seeing them through a different lens.
Eyes turn open to this beauty,
Falling into my own starry cave.
“Things are as they are, so we can recognise and appreciate them in their changing forms without grasping. Grasping is wanting to hold on to something we like; wanting to get rid of something we don’t like; or wanting to get something we don’t have.”
I’ve been walking for so long
Over sand dunes in hot sun
Waiting for something to change
Without changing this old weary brain
Sand grains fill my every pore
Every muscle burning sore
Keep on marching ever onward
Without ever knowing what it’s for
Bring me rain and bring me full of life
Will you bring me water for these thirsty bones
Please will you bring me oil to rub this weathered skin
I’m not sure where to begin
I’m not sure where to begin
Time stands still when I stop moving
Then washes me up in a wave
Eyes turn open to this beauty
Falling into my own starry cave
Sing me rain and sing me full of life
I will sing me water for these thirsty bones
Yes I will sing me oil to rub this weathered skin
I’m not sure where to begin
I’m not sure where to begin
I’m not sure, but I’ll begin
